New year resolutions that should come to pass, but wont

I have never made new years resolutions, there i said it, now you can all gasp in shock.

Here are some new year resolutions that i probably should make and keep but wont.

not being such a gas guzzler: by this i mean, i race off the line in my speedy blue taurus the minute the light turns green like i'm in a drag race (i always win :)).
The reason why I wont: I'm the world's worst waiter, even the 5 seconds it would take me to lightly touch the gas peddle to go gives me anxiety so i must shoot off the line!

not eating handfuls of pasta sitting in the drainer: Sometimes i'd rather just eat the pasta plain then put anything on it, so i munch on it while it drains...and during the meal...and while i put away dinner. My favorite plain pasta is bow tie and spaghetti, it just tastes different than elbow or rigatoni.
The reason why i wont: I just love pasta way too much to stop and why should i stop something that makes me so happy? ...maybe for the reason below...

lose 4 pounds: the wii fit plus (which is a mean, mean game) told me to lose 4 pounds to get to a healthy BMI. i was offended so i quit playing immediately. just kidding, i continued that day...lost interest and didn't play for a week and a half and haven't turned it on since.
The reason why i wont: i'm just not motivated, i need someone like Jillian Michaels yelling at me to get me off my butt after work. I'm really trying to lose these 4 pounds by the time our cruise rolls around but who knows if i really will.

stop talking to my pets in a high, annoying pitched voice: I pretty sure this rubs john like nails on a chalk board.
The reason why i wont: because it's involuntary. the minute i see their cute face my brain turns to mush and i spout off stupid, high pitched baby talk.

So there you have it, my non-resolutions.