I wake up at 6AM to crying puppies in the office next to our bedroom, their inner alarm clocks suck. Since there is no way to sleep through that noise and moving them downstairs is a lot of work just for an extra hour of sleep I get up.
The pups scream for an extra 5 minutes while I go about my morning business of going to the bathroom, disarming the alarm and lifting the Charlie bar in the sliding glass door. Opening the office door leads to a an unpleasant smell, Pup Pup (who will be called Kuma by his new owners) has pooped in his crate meaning it will require a good scrubbing before I leave for work. Sighing, I let them out and everyone runs to the back door.
The sprinklers are one, great, wet dogs. Makoa has taught everyone how to stick their face in the sprinklers to get drinks so faces, bellies and legs become very wet.
After separating Pup and Winston for the 10th time I hold Pup so Winston will finally go to the bathroom. Once everyone is empty the older dogs stay outside, Pup goes into Winston’s crate (his is dirty, remember) and Winston gets his breakfast in the bathroom while I take a shower.
Winston spills entire bowl of food all over the bathroom floor, pulls down my bathrobe and tries to rip shower curtain off the rod. My shower is really quick.
I walk into my bedroom with Winston following me, he proceeds to poop on the carpet. I’m in a towel so I can’t rush him outside, I’ll end up flashing my smoker neighbors with the 4 foot fence. Nothing I can do, but let him finish pooping so I grab some paper towels to clean it up. Winston tries to help clean it up and jumps on my hand holding the paper towel, smearing the poop into the carpet. Winston is put in his crate and Pup is removed.
I scrub out Pup Pup’s crate so I can put him back in and get ready for work in peace. All the puppies are back in their crates and screaming loudly and I think to myself, “Please smoking neighbors, don’t call animal control on me!”
I sweep up Winston's food and the older dogs come inside to get their breakfast while I empty and load the dishwasher. Scream, cry, bark, whine comes from the office.
I start to dry my hair while Makoa vomits up all the water he drank from the spinklers plus some of his breakfast. Luckily the hair dryer soothes the puppies so they stop crying for 15 minutes.
I clean up the vomit while my hair straightener heats up, the puppies start screaming again. I think to myself, “Life will be a little calmer once Pup heads to his new home…hopefully!”
I finish getting ready for work and while making the bed I realize that I hear silence, the puppies have finally cried themselves out. Too bad it’s going to be short lived, the older dogs are then moved into their crates in the office and the puppies start screaming again. It doesn’t matter anymore, I’m leaving for work!
With this and last night fiasco while I was by myself most of the night (not even going to get into that, let’s just say I can’t wait until Pup leaves) I really am starting to wonder why I prefer dogs to children…
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